By Sam & Esther
We have been guests at a lot of weddings, and we've documented even more of them. Regularly working with couples as they plan for their day, and then spending 10 or more hours closely with those couples on those days, means we have learnt a lot about what's important, what works, and what definitely doesn't work as people prepare for their wedding.
We regularly talk about how, if we had to re-do our wedding, we think we would be able to plan it at record speed. Those of you who are professional wedding planners will totally get what we mean. We know exactly what we'd want, what we don't want, and what are the best tips and guidance to follow.
So we've compiled a list of the tips we like to give along the way that come from our experience over the years of documenting weddings. In no particular order, here we go!
1 - Plan some time alone with your partner.
Whether it’s just 5 minutes or 10 minutes, having some time together to breathe, sit, and process will be immensely valuable. It gives you a chance to refresh, reset, and go and continue to enjoy the rest of the day.
2 - Bring a pair of comfy shoes, too!
Brides, those shoes are beautiful - but you might not want to be in them the whole day. Have a pair of elegant and pretty back up shoes which are also super comfy, your heels and ankles will thank you.
3 - Specify a time limit for speeches, and don't have too many.
Speeches can bring really heart-warming moments to weddings, as well as offer the chance for some light embarrassment and laughter. But a speech which goes on too long can easily create bad memories for you and your guests. The ideal speech length is about 5 minutes, with 10 minutes being the absolute maximum. Make sure to communicate this clearly to those doing speeches, and we recommend 3-4 speeches max.
4 - Get a videographer as well as a photographer.
The first and best piece of advice we give to all couples is this - get a videographer as well as a photographer. Luckily for you, we do both! Having a wedding video allows you to relive the day again and again, in a much more visceral way than photos alone can do. Not having one is the biggest regret we have from our wedding, don’t let it be yours too.
5 - Professionally made cakes are awesome…
A grand, three-tiered cake sitting at your reception venue is a great way to set the tone for the whole section of the evening. It provides a beautiful key moment with the cutting of the cake, and it can tie together the styling and the theme for the whole day. Sam says they have to be chocolate, but that’s up to you.
6 - Avoid SPF makeup.
In flash photography, the bride’s dreaded nemesis is flashback. Flashback causes a white shiny cast over your face, particularly around the eyes, and it can ruin a photograph. The culprit responsible for flashback is SPF makeup. It is typically specific SPF ingredients such as zinc oxide and titanium oxide, which may be found in your concealer or foundation. These ingredients are used to deflect sunlight, which is why they protect you from sun damage. They deflect the flash of the camera the same way. If you spot someone with under-eyes that look mysteriously white or shiny in photos, chances are their concealer contains one of those ingredients. While SPF is undeniably a skin care essential for sun protection, the same properties that allow your sunscreen to reflect UV rays can also cause undesirable effects in photos. Silica, which is a main ingredient in many face powders, can cause the same white glow to appear. Avoid them! Opt for matte formulas, avoid ultra dewy complexions.
7 - Have a designated 'organiser' on the day.
Probably can’t stress this one enough. Whether you have a wedding planner, or whether you assign a member of the wedding party this role, someone should be given it. They should be the person that other people come to if there’s an issue that needs a solution, without it having to come to you or your partner and cause unnecessary stress. They should be well-trusted by you, so we normally recommend the Best Man or the Maid of Honour for this role. They can also help the photographer organise people for family and group shots, so that's a bonus!
8 - Create a timetable for the day, but don't plan it minute-by-minute.
If you, like us, are also cursed with the need to be hyper organised, you may be tempted to create a well-detailed and extensive timetable for your wedding day, so that everyone knows what’s happening and exactly when. Ours was planned down to the minute… And it went completely out of the window when Esther decided to start walking down the aisle half an hour early! By all means create the timetable, but avoid timing things too precisely. Chances are, there will be a lot of unknowns that occur on the day - go with them. The magic and the stories most often happen in those unknowns.
9 - Choose a spacey venue.
A small and cramped venue might seem cosy and cute at the time of choosing, but when you try and squeeze, inevitably, a lot more people in than you think you will, it can quickly become stifling…and smelly. Choose a venue with a lot of room!
10 - Organise the confetti throwing.
Have a plan for how you want this to work, and communicate the plan to your day's designated organiser (see No. 7!) or even better, to your photographer. They will know the best way to arrange people and the best instructions to give them to achieve the best effect. If left to themselves, the masses will congregate in a sort of awkward semi circle around the entrance to your venue, and the confetti throwing will be fairly unimpressive.
11 - Walk slowly down the aisle.
Chances are, you’ll be quite nervous in the actual moment. And most people don’t enjoy having everyone's eyes on them for an extended period of time. But it is so important that you walk down the aisle slowly, and to be honest, there probably isn’t a ‘too slow’. At least, that’s not a comment we’ve ever heard, but we have had plenty of times where someone has said “wow, she really bolted down there!”
It’s also very helpful for your photographer if you go slowly. It gives them plenty of time to make sure they get the right shot, which benefits you in the long run.
12 - Do the first kiss slowly, don't just dive right in.
It’s another hiccup we see surprisingly often, and another one we expect is again due to a bit of nervousness! But it’s a beautiful moment, and one people anticipate the most. Go slowly, hold the kiss for a good couple of seconds, and soak up the celebration! It’s why you’re there after all.
13 - Consider a phone ban during the ceremony.
Sometimes, you can get a great candid photograph of people who are having their photo taken by someone with a phone. But that doesn’t tend to be during the ceremony. When the Bride is walking down the aisle, or when the groom’s face is lit up like never before, ask yourself if you want the photos of those moments to include people in the background and on the sides with their mobile phone up in front of their face. In our experience, the answer is probably not. Any wedding photographer worth their salt will get excellent pictures of those moments from the best angles possible with the best camera gear possible, so letting or even encouraging your guests to use their phones is unnecessary more than anything else. You might want a really lowkey, chilled out ceremony where phones are fine - no problem. As long as you’ve thought about it beforehand!
14 - Have a ‘golden hour’ photo session.
Some couples are hesitant about this because it means having photographs taken of just the two of them together, which can be anxiety-inducing! But it is so worth doing, as these can often be the most beautiful photos you’ll have from the day, and definitely the ones which will go up on your wall. They can be done in a way which is candid, natural, and unobtrusive, to help you feel comfortable and at ease. It’s certainly our approach.
15 - Phones out of pockets during group shot sessions.
Hopefully, your photographer will remember this for you. But to the grooms and groomsmen especially, try to remember to take your phone out of your pocket. They can really show up in the photos once contrast is added, and it’ll leave you feeling a bit silly having a big lump on the side of your leg
16 - Your dress will get dirty.
Brides, this is a hard one. That beautiful expensive dress you’ll wear probably only once in your life? It’s going to get dirty. Our tip? Embrace it! Esther still has her wedding day shoes with all the mud marks on them and refuses to clean them. They help to tell the story of the day. It’s special mud! Don’t let so many moments of the day be stressful because you don’t want your dress to get dirty. Dry cleaning is a powerful thing…
17 - Keep your photographer abreast of any family issues that might crop up.
It’s not what anyone wants, but it can happen. Sometimes, family drama appears during the wedding day. A bit of alcohol, a bit of jealousy perhaps, a bit of relational history comes to the fore, and a problem arises. Let your photographer know - people don’t want their photos taken when they’re not really feeling their best.
18 - Opt for fewer family group photos than more.
Of course you’ll want photos or recordings of you with everyone at your wedding - you invited them for a reason! Your photographers will do an excellent job capturing everyone, and they don’t have to do them all in the group photos session. This section can take longer than you think it will, and wanting a photo taken of every possible person combination is unrealistic. Stick to the main groups of people, and get the rest during the cocktail hour or at the reception. It’ll go a lot more smoothly, and be painless for everyone.
19 - Hold each other’s hand as much as possible.
Make a pact together to do this. Holding each other's hand is a beautiful way to show the love there is between you, and it looks great in pictures and video! It can create some seriously cute and romantic moments. You won’t regret consciously choosing to stick to your partner throughout the day like this.
20 - There’s a trick to get everyone on the dance floor.
As is human nature, it can be a bit awkward getting everyone on the dance floor. But once they’re there, it’s a whole heap of fun. So how do you do it? There’s a trick, but it means sacrificing the first dance. For some, this is no problem - that can be their worst nightmare. All you need to do is get your DJ to announce a whole group photo on the dance floor. Arrange everyone however you want, maybe get them to cheer and celebrate, and have your photographer take the photo. As soon as they do, your DJ should drop straight into the first song. Then, everyone’s already on the dance floor, you were already making noise and celebrating; it’s natural for people to start dancing as soon as they see you are.
There you have it. 20 useful wedding day tips to have a great celebration and come out with great pictures and a great video.
If you have any additional tips worth sharing, drop them in the comment section below.
All pictures shown were taken by Sam & Esther - Photography and Filmmaking.
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